Mercury falling

bluebird of bitterness

50 degrees:

People in Florida crank up the heat.

People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 degrees:

People in Louisiana put on thermal underwear.

People in Wisconsin have picnics in the park.

30 degrees:

People in South Carolina shiver uncontrollably.

People in Wisconsin have one last cookout before the weather turns cold.

20 degrees:

People in Alabama put on overcoats, mittens, and earmuffs.

People in Wisconsin think about shutting the windows.

10 degrees:

New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in Wisconsin switch from short to long sleeves.

10 below zero:

Californians move to Mexico.

People in Wisconsin start drying their laundry indoors.

20 below zero:

Texans are hospitalized with hypothermia.

People in Wisconsin take their winter coats out of storage.

30 below zero:

Politicians put their hands in their own pockets.

People in Wisconsin let their dogs sleep indoors.

40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

Water…

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