Scholars now believe Pharaoh had his head baker hanged for putting walnuts in brownies

bluebird of bitterness

FromThe Babylon Bee.

EGYPT — Scholars have uncovered new evidence showing that Pharaoh’s infamous hanging of his chief baker was a result of discovering walnuts in his brownies.

“I’m sorry, but this is disgusting and I’m going to have to kill you,” Pharaoh is believed to have said. “I was so pumped for this brownie, and just wow — what a letdown. Get the noose!”

Recorded in the book of Genesis, the story of the head baker’s seemingly unwarranted execution has long puzzled Bible scholars. “We have always wondered what exactly a baker could do to warrant instant hanging. It all makes sense now,” said Old Testament Studies professor Dr. Lisa Gold. “Walnuts in a brownie? He’s lucky Pharaoh didn’t feed him to the lions.”

In the Genesis account, the baker initially asks Joseph to interpret a dream in which birds are eating baked goods out of three…

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